What does it mean to BE?
To be you.
To be lovable.
To be unembarrassed.
To be sensitive.
To be loyal.
To be free.
To be your truth.
To lose the need to be anything except the true you.
To be the you, you were intended to be.
To be loved, catered to & nurtured.
I woke up on Humpday tired, despite getting a full 8 hours of sleep the night before. I woke up wanting to BE the me that I had known myself to be – the strong, resilient, energizer bunny that brightens every space I enter.
Wednesday was different. The Life Coach in me wanted no parts of optimism, energy and purpose. This woman owned business wanted nothing more than to be rubbed back to sleep.
It was day 3 of my menstrual cycle and my body was completely resigned, a feeling I had never felt before. A feeling that my ego called weakness. A feeling that didn’t want to allow me to BE me.
Feeling this way caused me to be unsure of myself, to become weary and concerned that something was wrong. I would usually find a way out of the things I needed to do, so that I could sooth myself by sulking ALONE. Instead, I chose to push past the temporary feeling (all feelings are) and be a woman of my word.
One of the greatest lessons my profession as a life coach has taught me, is that I am just like everyone else. I struggle with things on a daily basis, however I am constantly utilizing the powerful distinctions that I teach, in order to get back on track with my most powerful self! Thank goodness, cause they came in handy!
Step 1: Meditate
Meditation has this profound power that gives me the superwoman wings I had as a child, so it has become a daily ritual. As I hopped out of the shower, wishing I could crawl right back into bed, I turned on one of my favorite guided meditations, entitled – I Would Like to Give you Permission. As destiny would have it, the meditation was 15 minutes of exactly what I needed – a powerful reminder of what it means to authentically be me – ugly, uncomfortable and uncouth. Sarah Boldin has this way with words that soothes and calms me down which immediately takes me to the 5 year old within me, running wild and free on the marina at Soper’s Hole, BVI.
I laid on my bed and felt the layers of weakness, laziness and doubt raise off of me as I got in touch with the parts of me that felt good. The parts of me that were childlike and didn’t take life seriously – willing to share my absurd, big dreamer thoughts with anyone who would listen. When I opened my eyes, I understood that how I felt in the moment was just a feeling, no matter what the grimace on my face said. In that moment I gave myself permission to take on the day, powerfully and with no excuses – all while accepting the brand new uncomfortable feelings. I also chose to turn those brand new feelings into operating as a brand new me – the me of May 29th instead of a me from the past.
Step 2: Take Action & Share
I had no idea what the implications of this newfound outlook would be on my day, but I knew that I still had to fulfill on everything that I had given my word to. I got dressed and instead of dealing with this on my own – aka WebMD – I reached out to a friend who suffers with low iron levels. I called and left a voicemail that detailed how I was feeling, with hopes that she was a doctor today and would be able to diagnose me on the spot. This approach was new for me.
As the oldest of 4 girls and having been heavily relied upon to set the example, I had conditioned myself to rarely, if ever show weakness. This humpday was different; I wanted badly to be nurtured, maybe even coddled, and like every human, I wanted to feel like I wasn’t going through this pain alone.
15 minutes later, my friend Ashley called me back and asked me to describe what I was feeling and immediate identified with it, suggesting iron pills and beet juice to soothe me. When I hung up the phone, I suddenly thought about all of the painful (physical or mental) things that I had endured by myself in the past and I immediately wondered why I had ever done that to myself. There was something soo beautiful about sharing with another human being that actually assisted in my feeling better.
Since that conversation went well, I felt empowered to share with the woman I met with for my first meeting and then 2 women that worked at the cafe we met at, my cousin I had never met, my bff in Orlando, a new female friend I met at Landmark Worldwide and my crush; a very handsome man who had the kindest words to sooth me. Talking about my period had always been a taboo topic, I often treated it like it didn’t exist and in the span of 3 hours, I shared with 8 different people, who all related or cared enough to offer a solution. In the midst of my sharing, I learned more about my body, the power of sharing and the power of allowing my community to support me. I felt like I had opened a whole new world where I had permission to BE.
Step 3: Acknowledge Yourself
Although it may seem simple, talking about my menstrual cycle was the vessel that allowed me to let go of the disempowering choice to always look good/avoid looking bad. I chose to share myself and my fleeting weakness without being embarrassed or falsifying my true feelings because I was worried about what others would think. I allowed myself to be with my feelings and share them powerfully, which empowered others to show up for me.
A day that started in lethargy and resignation ended in empowerment that my truth is indeed my truth (DJ Private Ryan’s Soca playlist helped too). It was a simple reminder that our individual truth is the one thing that we can share powerfully and rely on to connect with and give permission to ourselves to be loved & catered to.
It may be something bigger, scarier or smaller than my story, however the lesson and my encouragement to you is to embrace the changes of life. Embrace those things that are uncomfortable to talk about that you deem as unimportant or weak. In reality, someone else is dealing with it to. They may be struggling with it, been there before or just happy to support you through your trials. Either way, our humanity is our greatest gift and greatest support.
Our truth is our beauty and right of passage!
Below I have listed some of the suggestions that I received from a Stephanie Wright – an Ayurvedic chef, who focuses on the elements of food, how they affect you and giving the body what it needs based on what’s in season. It was raining on Wednesday so she gave some great tips on consuming grains to decrease bloating and water retention.
Stephanie will be hosting Self Care Monday’s – Curate by Design My Vibe at Lakou Cafe on Monday, July 29th!
- Grapefruit Juice with Ginger, Lime & Maple Syrup
- Rose Tea
- Lentil Soup
- Beet Juice
- Spinach + mushrooms (great sources of iron)
- Quinoa – Energizing Protein & Drying Grain (Reduces Bloating)
From you wake up this morning. You’s ah winner.