I’ve lost track of how many times I have had to apologize to my followers, subscribers and to my close friends and family. No, I didn’t hurt anyone or chew them out in my Bougie Bajan-like British Virgin Islands accent. What happened was, I’ve been inauthentic and pretending that everything is ok. Over the past couple of weeks, my coach has been talking a lot about how all human beings are continuously pretending in our lives and slowly it became real for me.
As I achieve new levels in the coaching coursework at Landmark Worldwide and I dedicate my time there to see others receive transformation, I always leave with another layer of emotional/logical protection peeled back, that exposes my true self. Yesterday, I learned about another level to my vulnerability that I didn’t know existed. Every time I think I am being fully vulnerable with myself and with you, I learn that there is always more. And trust me, there has been a lot going on lately.
Update – On February 8th, Chef Adrain & I hosted our 2nd Cannabis Infused Dinner at my apartment and on February 27th, I received an email alerting my roommate and I that we would no longer be granted tenancy here – so I have to find a new place to live in 30 days with little to no $$$$ at my disposal. Having to move, when the business I just started – Design My Vibe is less than 3 months old, is a bit daunting because building a clientele takes time. Not only am I learning how to acquire new clients
As I write this and take a look at all the things I am up to, I am now realizing, even more, the impact that pretending has on my own life. Could I be further along with my projects? Would I have already found a place to stay in which I barter my professional skills for housing?
Below, I run through the entire exercise, so that you can see its impact and how it brought new clarity and honesty to my life.
So what have I been pretending?
I’ve been pretending that I’ve got it all together and I’m figuring it out.
When in real life (reality)…
- I am sometimes worried about what will happen
- I have no idea what’s next
- I feel disorganized
- I feel like time management & I aren’t friends
The impact of me being inauthentic in my thoughts and actions is…
- I’m not as impactful as I can be
- I’m not putting myself out there in order to receive the blessings that the universe has for me
- Others are unable to learn from what I am going through
What’s been missing the entire time I’ve been inauthentic is:
Standing here, the greatness that I am inventing for myself and my life is…
- Being Deserving
- Being Vulnerable
- Being Open
As I chisel away at myself, aka my version of the Michelangelo David sculpture, I can literally feel the physical & mental weight drop off me. I have become unguarded, trusting and have recognized how deserving I am of the universe’s blessings. My self-expression is renewed and evolving and I feel free to be increasingly open about what I am dealing with. The best part is learning the importance of having a Tribe not only to hang out and practice my coaching skills on but more importantly for them to support me, cheer me on and create with me! It takes a great level of vulnerability to ask for support and an even greater level to feel deserving enough to receive it.
Life, much like a roller coaster, is so much more fun when you’re authentically on this journey with others, going through the highs and lows screaming when you’re scared and yelling in excitement when you’re exhilarated. Like a roller coaster, in life, you don’t want to get off until you’ve reached the end!
Were you able to think of places where you are being inauthentic about how you feel, think & act? What are you pretending to be, when in fact you are the exact opposite on the inside? Are you interested in doing the inauthenticity exercise in order to create new possibilities in your life?
BOOK a free Discovery Call with me, so that you can also gain freedom in your life.