As a millennial that matured during the age of Google, Amazon Prime, Instagram & Tinder, I get why we want everything and we want it now. We grew up in between watching iced out moguls on TV and instantly getting we want from our phones. It’s no wonder we can’t grasp the concept of – put in the work and the result will be phenomenal. We are programmed to type something in and immediately get results and for that same reason, we believe that we can choose to change the way we have always been and see results instantaneously.
I know the feeling all too well.
In the past 15 months, I tried to avoid the process by declaring goals that scared me shitless and were also unrealistic. Without a clear vision or how to get there, I got out on the skinny branch and made the most audacious requests of the universe –
“I’m gonna make $100,000 in 4 months” (with no real business in place).
“I’m going to be married in less than a year” (with no real potential mate).
“I’m going to be fluent in Spanish in 5 months” (with no real interest in the language)
To be honest, I did want some variation of each of these things, however, I was not clear or in reality when I opened my mouth. What we say does come to fruition, hence the importance of being sure before you speak. I subsequently learned that Clarity, Intention & Commitment are very important pieces to the process.
So what did happen?
“I’m gonna make $100,000 in 4 months” – This hasn’t happened yet, however my declaration has induced taking massive action to get clear about what I want my business to be and how I want it to grow in 5 to 10 years. The potential is now much bigger than 100k because I am clear on what I want my legacy to be long term. In addition, I have learned a lot about money management, manifestation, and tithing. All the things I need to know in order to grow, invest and keep my (cash money) millions when it comes!
“I’m going to be married in less than a year” – The timeline isn’t up on this, however my declaration in August 2018 has shifted soo much in the way I think of myself, my worthiness and most importantly what I truly want of myself and from my partner. Firstly, I began pruning away at the people that were taking up (my partners) valuable space – this allowed me to breathe. Secondly, and most importantly, these past 10 months, I have been laser-focused on who I have to BE in order to attract the love I want. It no longer worked to point the finger at other people as the reason for my loneliness, so I made it my consistent business to look and see how I was contributing to every situation I was/had been in. Lastly, I made a genuine list about my Must Haves, Would Likes & Dealbreakers. As I mate with my own soul, I attract my soul mate – and if it doesn’t feel good, I will not be finessed.
“I’m going to be fluent in Spanish in 5 months” – No offense to the Spanish language and its amazing people – however my true love is in Asia. At age 12, my first roommate in boarding school, was from Hong Kong, and although our differences drove us crazy, they also fed our fascination. At age 19, when it was time to choose a language, I chose to study Mandarin and for 4 months during the summer of 2009, I lived in Hong Kong by myself. Now at age 29, on my transformational journey, one woman that has made a tremendous impact on my life in the past 5 months is also from China. She serves as my subtle reminder that Mandarin has always been it and it’s what I’m committed to.
It takes time to build new habits and it takes habits to create change… soo admittedly it takes time to create change.
And change = new results.Sarah E. Harrigan
Each of these examples are true testaments of my past declarations and the results that they created. They are also proof that we get exactly what we ask for, many times not in the way we assumed they would look. What I have learned is that clarity is key and will produce the desired result; anything else that happens along the way that doesn’t feel good – is apart of the journey or the process. And even when things don’t seem to serve us, or may sometimes “hurt” us, we are actually always movings towards our dreams and the process cannot be avoided.
So what are my 3 Tips to “Avoiding the Process”?
Tip #1: Stop Trying To Avoid The Process
At some point, we are conditioned to do our best to avoid the pain the heartache, the loss or the failures and it’s this avoidance that keeps many of us away from going after what we truly want in life. Trying to lay low from life has an adverse effect which makes the inevitable blows you do receive, even harder to digest & deal with.
Instead of insanity, I offer that you choose to ROLL with LIFE. Roll with the punches, the ups & downs, the good & bad feelings and the “surprises” that you innately knew about. In choosing life for all that it is – you will become resilient and be able to pop right back up after being knocked down. Every opportunity has the potential to be great and peoples words & actions or lack thereof begin to have little impact on your life. In choosing the process, you begin to understand that you create your process.
Mood creates reality.
Tip #2: Acknowledge Your Wins & Breakthroughs
Somewhere along life’s journey we are taught that speaking about or glorifying our wins is boasting. To hell with that lesson.
Every day, each of us learns something new, creates new wins, overcomes new challenges and pushes through something that we thought would end us. Unfortunately, the people we want to “see” all that we are up to, are in their own worlds, so it’s up to us to cheer for ourselves.
Acknowledging your wins has everything to do with you giving yourself the praise you deserve for the time and effort you’ve put in and absolutely nothing to do with the naysayers. No one else is living your life and doing the amazing things you do – so cheer yourself on, constantly. You validate you!
Celebrating induces more wins!
Tip #3: Do Things That Feel Good
I know it may feel guilty to always do things that feel good to you, however the alternative is doing things that feel bad and I don’t understand why anyone would play that game.
Feeling Good is what life is all about. The first step to getting there is to begin thinking thoughts that induce good feeling.
I am worthy. I am smart. I can do everything I put my mind to.
I am living the life I love. I am blessed with everything I need. I am fun.
I am beautiful. I am bold. I am unreasonable.
When we start with thinking positive thoughts, they lead to positive actions and those actions set the Law of Attraction in motion. Eventually, you become a feel-good magnet and everything you’ve ever wanted comes to you.
Feeling good, feels good!